Why Dogs are better than Women

1. Dogs love it when your friends come over.
2. Dogs don’t care if you use their shampoo.
3. Dogs think you sing great.
4. Dogs love red meat.
5. Dogs don’t shop.
6. A dog’s time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.
7. Dogs don’t hate their bodies.
8. No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.
9. Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
10. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.
11. A dog’s parents never visit.
12. Dogs appreciate excessive hair.
13. Dogs understand that farts are funny.
14. Dogs don’t notice if you give their offspring away.
15. Dogs don’t expect you to call when you’re running late.
16. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
17. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
18. Anyone can get a good looking dog.
19. A dog’s disposition doesn’t change in 28 day cycles.
20. When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.
21. Dogs love long car trips.
22. Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
23. Dogs seldom outlive you.
24. Dogs aren’t chatty.
25. You never have to wait for a dog, They’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
26. Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.
27. Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dog were made to be hunted.
28. Dogs never criticize.
29. Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
30. Dogs don’t borrow your shirts.
31. Dogs never want foot rubs.
32. Dogs can’t talk.
33. Dogs like to do their snooping outside, as opposed to in your wallet, desk, or the back of your sock drawer.
34. Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.
35. Dogs don’t worry about germs.
36. Dogs never expect gifts.
37. Dogs don’t want to know about every other dog you ever had.
38. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get you point across.
39. No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.